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… but, I’m going to find him, and make him pay for what he did to this little girl:
After a few months of silence around here, I’ve decided to make another run at keeping this thing up. Like I always do, I’ll make grand promises to be more devoted to this blog, but I doubt that I’ll hold true to those promises.
I’ve been thinking about a few different types of posts for this place, and instead of cranking them out old-school style, I’m mulling them over. But I digress.
So without further ado (or as my sister says, further “adieu”), I’ll use the cheapest of cheap tricks. The old “Here’s what’s in my cell phone text message inbox before I clean it out”
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
* No no. Yesterday my glasses were only a sign of a hangover.
* If it was up your ass, you’d know it.
* I just called your sister and sang “Leaving on a jet plane”. Thanks for the inspiration. Hehe.
* I love waffles 2.
* You escaped without a hug. Jerk.
* I think you’re wonderful. That is all.
* That’s coz he wasn’t raised on irony like us.
* I’m scared to talk to you because I suck, so I’m doing this instead. Good to see you, love.
* mad horseshoes! come on down!
* You’ve got nice eaves.
* Move 2 asheville
* You made me cry.
* Best cd yet. Hands down.
* Lucky ******.
* If we’re still doing lunch tomorrow, you better call and wake me up!
* Daaaaaaang. the Hardees in Hickory ain’t on fire no more.
* whisper in my mouth
* (you’re like an) oak tree
* I called you, jerk. What gives?
* …violently erotic
* What’s your tomato basil soup recipe?
* I’m listening to cats in the cradle, which makes me think of you
* I just got hit on by a 21 year old at walmart. he had to leave when his dad came over to get him.
Many of these are from the same two or three people, and many of them have some reference to some joke, but it’s sort of fun to share them with folks completely out of context. For the record, I have no idea what “cksw” means.
The one for the Viva paper towels where the Mom and her little devil spawn boy are spraying each other in the kitchen. This one.
Oh, it’s all just so delightful! Wouldn’t want to actually scold this demon seed for shaking up the soft drink and having it spray all over creation. No, surprise, she’s not mad at all! She sprays him back! Then he sprays her some more! And who cares about the glopping sticky orange drink which will shortly be attracting trillions of ants from all over the county? This kid will be exploding seagulls with Alka Seltzer within a few months, well on his way to felony vandalism and, eventually, Neo-Nazism.
A Kat classic, I might add. Basically you take a honkin’ big t-bone (2-1/2 – 3 lbs), coat it in a dry rub of fresh rosemary, thyme, sage, salt and pepper, and blast the crap out of it on the hottest grill you can muster. 12 minutes side one, 9 minutes side two. On a steak that is nearly 3″ thick.
Well, a 2-1/2 to 3″ t-bone ain’t cheap. But The Meat Center just sent a $10 off STEAK coupon in the mail. Expensive recipe? Yes. But 10$ off? Time to see how this recipe holds up.
Get to the counter, and of course the butchers have been crushed under steak requests. “Ninety one! Ninety one!” the busy butcher yelled. Professional purchaser that I am, I responded “NINETY ONE!” in my most forceful alto. Taught my fellow meat counter wannabe’s a lesson. You want service? Command service.
I point to the T-bones. ” I need a 2-1/2 to 3 pound T-bone”. Butcher responds “I’ll have to cut one.”
What would you say? I said “Excellent. Cut it”
Waiting patiently, several butchers asked if I needed assistance. I just pointed to my new friend at the band saw. “Oh. Yeah.” And away they went to serve hamburger and sausage. They were jealous.
My man comes back and displays the majesty of beef. Three of his fellow butchers gathered as he held it above his head and placed it upon the scale. There was a strange silence amongst them.
“That’s a beautiful steak” one of them finally exclaimed, caught in the reverie of the moment. Many at the counter stood dumbfounded at the sight of this monster. Final tally? 2-2/3 pounder.
Well, I get it home, prep the rest of the meal and now it is time to prep the meat. Fresh rub, drizzle with oil, an into the hottest pan I have.
Beef. Glorious Beef.
First note. That is not a T-Bone. It’s a porterhouse. A prime porterhouse. Look at the size of the fillet on that thing. And he charged me T-bone price. Hooray Butcher! Challenge your butcher and he will reward you.
That is a 12″ pan. On high heat with no oil for a good 15 minutes before I dropped the steak in. Gotta love cast iron and its heat retention in this case.
Departing from the recipe, I did not coat both sides of the steak before placing it into the pan. Didn’t want to waste any of that goodness.
Still fresh in the pan, I coat the other side. Which looks like this:
Beef. Glorious Herb Crusted Beef.
My spoonholder trout is starting to eye this thing.
The house is really starting to smell good. After 12 minutes, it’s time to flip. As I’ve never flipped a nearly 3 pound herb crusted steak, this was a bit awkward. Luckily, the 12 uninterrupted minutes transformed the herbs into a thick black crust, which separated easily from the pan. A breeze.
9 more minutes and it’s off the heat. To rest. As illustrated here:
Beef. Glorious Resting Herb Crusted Beef.
Rest for 5 minutes. This serves four easily. And it is ridoonkculously good.
Formally, the chef will bring this entire steak tableside. She will then remove the fillet and the strip from the bone, slice it, and serve each family unit a portion of each.
And for all the temperature freaks out there, this steak had it all. Near the bone, rare. Progressing to medium rare in the majority of the meat to medium on the extremities.
I came, I saw, and yet I did nothing.